Author Topic: Universal Truths of NASCAR  (Read 2968 times)


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Universal Truths of NASCAR
« on: July 06, 2008, 10:13:47 AM »
I guess I’m just getting old.  That’s the realization I’m having to face as Silly Season progresses.  I don’t like change.  I don’t want change.  At least not in those things I’ve come to recognize as ”Universal Truths”.

-   Roger Staubach is the iconic Dallas Cowboys quarterback. 
-   Nolan Ryan IS the Texas Rangers.
-   Larry Hagman will always be J.R. Ewing.
-   Dale Earnhardt Jr is Budweiser.  Tony Stewart is The Home Depot.

Oh, wait!  These aren’t Universal Truths after all.  Staubach first gained football fans’ affection as one of Anapolis’s “Midshipmen” before becoming a Cowboy.  Nolan Ryan wasn’t always a Ranger.  And Larry Hagman did that little TV stint as the bumbling Major Nelson.

So I guess I’m saying that Universal Truths have a shelf life. 

Dale Jr made that apparent to me last year, and Tony Stewart is rumored to be doing that again this year.  I’m not a long-time fan of NASCAR—in fact, I’m still pretty new to the ranks of fandom.  But in my life as a NASCAR fan thus far, here are a few of Texas16’s Personal Universal Truths:

-   Dale Earnhardt is a legend in hearts and memories but never a competitor
-   Rusty Wallace is the #2 Miller Lite Car
-   Benny Parsons is the voice from the booth
-   “Boogity” will happen
-   The only accents in NASCAR are Ward Burton’s, Elliott Sadler’s and Sterling Marlin’s—and those are only variations on regional American accents
-   Dale Jr is Budweiser; Jeff Gordon is Dupont; Jimmie Johnson is Lowe’s; Dale Jarrett is UPS; and Tony Stewart is The Home Depot

These are the things that over the past handful of years—the time I’ve been watching NASCAR—will happen every week.  And with every season that goes by, more and more of Texas16’s Universal Truths are debunked.  Rusty’s retired and BP is sadly missed.  We’ve added Canadian, Aussie, Columbian, Scottish and English accents to the previous list of Southern, Western, Northeastern, Deep Southern and Ward Burton’s.  And DE Jr is the face of something called AMP.

I’ve never had a problem with Silly Season changes.  These things happen.  But until Dale Jr and Budweiser split ways, none of the changes had challenged my list of NASCAR’s Universal Truths.  I’m not saying that it wasn’t time for DE Jr to move on or that Tony Stewart shouldn’t seek out new challenges or that Jeff Gordon should never retire.  But in my mind, Stewart will always be the face of The Home Depot.  And since I’m old and set in my ways, I’m not ready to embrace the idea of Stewart wearing anything but black and orange.  It’s still hard on my brain to see DE Jr wearing green and I still wait for some pearl of wisdom to come from Sterling Marlin during interviews.

All of the veteran fans will be able to come up with a lengthy list of changes to NASCAR since they started going to or watching races.  New cars, new faces, new rules, new places.  As for me, there are two Universal Truths that will ALWAYS be truths:

-   NASCAR will always change, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse
-   “The Intimidator” will always be a legend.
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Re: Universal Truths of NASCAR
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2008, 10:40:48 AM »
- Mark Martin will always in my world be the "6"
- Mark Martin will always be in my <3

I love the man!!!!
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Universal Truths of NASCAR
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2009, 06:44:23 AM »
I think there are universal truths, but not universal practices.

And did I ever mention that I always regret ever making the slightest references to my personal life or practice on this forum, considering the total disrespect with which you treat the actual human beings you sometimes interact with here, as opposed to the signs and symbols that crowd your mind?

Well, now Ive mentioned it.