Author Topic: For Commercial Use Only  (Read 1959 times)


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For Commercial Use Only
« on: June 11, 2008, 11:03:05 PM »
A couple days following each race, offers up a commercial breakdown of the weekend’s race including how many commercials, how many commercial breaks and how many minutes we missed the racing due to commercials.  Commercial breaks are annoying, but I’ve also found them to be very helpful.  Here are some ways.

Window Sticker Encouragement:   I proudly display a flashy “16” on the back window of my car.  And that is the only spot on my car that is clean.  I buff and polish that sticker every Sunday morning while I’m talking to it.  More than one neighbor has caught me talking to the back window of my car, patting it, cooing and cheering it on.  “This is Darlington.  You’ve won at Darlington so you know how to get around the track.  You’ve got a great car.  I just heard you say so yourself.  I know you can do it, so go out there and TAME that Lady In Black.”  …pat, pat, spit, polish, buff, buff, pat…  While these words of encouragement happen before the race for the most part, there are times when I’ll go out and talk to my window sticker during a commercial.  “You’re doing great.  You’re in the lead, and I know you can hold him off for a few more laps.”

 There are also the times when I have to commiserate with the window sticker.  “It wasn’t your fault.  So you had a 10-second lead on the field when you dropped a cylinder and retired to finish 42nd.  These things happen, and you’ll just make up those points next week.  You’re still Number One in my book.” 

Do I honestly believe I have some magical telepathic connection to my driver through a sixteen-cent adhesive label on the back of my dirty old red truck?  Or some telekinetic link to his car to make it go faster?  Of course not.  But I feel better for talking to that “16”, assuring it of my loyalty in bad times and of my excitement in good times.  Besides, what’s funnier than some crazy NASCAR fan running outside every commercial break to talk to the back of her car.

Laundry:  The standard load of laundry in the washer will finish by the end of the 3rd commercial break.  What better way to rationalize lazing about for four hours on a Sunday afternoon than to say, “I’m doing laundry.”  By the time I’ve gotten the towel load laundered, dried and ready to fold, “Victory Lane” is usually on.  When I’m able to watch that program, and if I like the winning driver, I can continue with my rationalization:  I’m still doing laundry.  If I don’t care for the winning driver, my frustrations are manifested in how many times and how hard I flip the wrinkles and lint out of the towels before I actually fold them.  “Daggum [insert driver name here]!”  …flip, snap…  “He needs to just shut his mouth and quit being so arrogant”  …flip, flip, FLIP, snap, snap…cat runs from the room terrified.  And bingo, before “Victory Lane” is off, the towels are folded.  Or torn to shreds.

Bathroom runs, beer runs, smoke breaks, pizza refills, etc:  I suppose all of those could be classified as Nature Calls or Decompression.  For obvious reasons, I won’t go into any details as to why commercial breaks are important to accommodate these needs.

Finally, Telephone Chats:  Thank heavens for mobile-to-mobile minutes because otherwise I’d own a large portion of AT&T.  Rather, they’d own a large portion of me.  I’ve noticed that I get a lot of text messages from a couple of fellow NASCAR fans during the commercials.  Even though I’m on the phone with a friend for the entire course of the race, the commercials are when we actually discuss what’s going on in the race.  It’s great for catching up on such things as “What the heck was Hamlin thinking back there!?!”  “Did you see that puff of smoke come from Junior’s car a couple laps ago?  Was that engine or tire rub???”  You know, important things like that.

So for all that we complain about commercials, they’re an essential part of watching a NASCAR race on TV.  But seriously, for all you Network Production Departments reading this, I can do the laundry on Monday, and I can talk on the phone while I sit on the pot just fine.  The refrigerator’s within earshot of the TV, so if I miss seeing one lap while I grab a brewski, I can still hear it.  And as for talking to my window sticker, I’m going to get started on it right now cuz we’ve got Michigan coming up.  “You’ve won at Michigan before.  You know how to get around that track.  This is your kind of track.  I have every confidence in your abilities to put one in the W column this week.”  On second thought, I think I’ll wait a few minutes ‘til it’s dark outside and nobody can see this crazed NASCAR fan talking to the bright, shiny ‘16’ on the back window of her car.
Bug-Eyed Dummy can drive.


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Re: For Commercial Use Only
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2008, 09:47:07 AM »
 I redeem my commercials differently.

 When doing laundry, I pause my DVR for the duration. Typically, that buys me 10-15 minutes I can redeem to skip commercials. The more I pause, the more minutes I accrue to skip commercials.

 I don't miss any race action. Ideally, I'm "live" again in victory lane. It's hard to nail that setup when you're dealing with about an hour and a half of commercials.



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Re: For Commercial Use Only
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2009, 10:05:34 PM »
I use commercial breaks for nature calls or refreshment calls.
yes, i'm a MWR fan.