Author Topic: Today's joke for the day  (Read 60929 times)

caboolarue

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Today's joke for the day
« on: December 20, 2007, 08:29:09 PM »
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" 

The man replied, "These are Carols."

#1Jimmiefan

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2007, 10:00:00 PM »
LOL, that's pretty funny!

Scott

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2007, 10:43:52 PM »
Woah!

I just heard Jackie The Jokeman tell this one on Howard 101 the other day.  Here's another from the same show...

Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

A: DUUUUUUUUNNNNNG!
- Scott Spain

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2007, 10:56:15 PM »
LoL
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robbybee

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2007, 12:49:07 AM »
How many illegal aliens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Just Juan
SPIT!

caboolarue

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2007, 01:02:15 AM »
Ha, Ha, Ha, now that is funny.

Scott

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2007, 02:24:54 AM »
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two.
- Scott Spain

caboolarue

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2007, 07:55:29 PM »
Why Two  ???

BuddyG

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2007, 08:01:40 PM »

 Okey Mr Spain, let's hear it. and keep it clean. :D :D :D :D :D :D
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

caboolarue

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2007, 08:07:30 PM »
Hey Montvale, Why do I have a feeling we were just set up  ???

BuddyG

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2007, 08:13:32 PM »

 I just want to see him get out of this clean. Hope he ain't had too many beers.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

caboolarue

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2007, 08:19:23 PM »
Oh no I think I have an idea, Never Mind Scott. EWW

Scott

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #12 on: December 22, 2007, 03:09:20 AM »
How many flies does it take to screw... In a lightbulb?

Better?
- Scott Spain

Scott

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #13 on: December 22, 2007, 03:18:13 AM »
A termite walks into a bar, hops up on a barstool and asks "Is the bar tender here?"
- Scott Spain

Landscape Racing

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #14 on: December 22, 2007, 01:29:35 PM »
Last night at my favorite watering hole I was sitting next to 2 Ladies and could not help overhearing their conversation.
 
 
 
At some point of the evening one of them said "You look like Helen Brown"
 
The other one replied, "Yes I know, and I don't look too good in Yellow either"
 
I finished my beer and left!............



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immature for the rest of your life.

caboolarue

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2007, 01:55:00 PM »
Did you know it was a year ago Today. 

robbybee

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2007, 06:20:36 PM »
I may be starting a real sh!t storm here but... (just remember, I did not write these)

Q: How do you make a Blonde's eyes sparkle?

A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.


Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

A: Gee, I hope it's mine.
SPIT!

Landscape Racing

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #17 on: December 26, 2007, 01:11:22 PM »
 
The other day I met a good friend of mine who is a genetic engineer
He was happy to tell me of his job.
His latest project is the splicing of DNA from different species of birds.
 

 

First he combined the DNA from a pheasant and a hen.
It worked!
He called it a "Phen."


Next he successfully
combined a pheasant and a goose.
He called it a Phoose."


Yesterday, he explained,
he finally was able to mix a pheasant and a duck.
He called it...
 
 

 
 
 

 
  "Charlie."



You can't stay young forever, but you can join
the Earnhardt Nation and be
immature for the rest of your life.

zooney9334

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #18 on: December 26, 2007, 08:10:08 PM »
I told that joke to my daughter, and you made Insane Child blush, "I don't wanna say the answer" <while looking at Flashe> then blush again.  Nice one  ;D

CodeBlueEMT

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Re: Today's joke for the day
« Reply #19 on: December 27, 2007, 10:49:08 AM »
 Remember, it's okay to crack your knuckles.

 Just don't knuckle your crack.